I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize