Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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