If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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