the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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