you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize