It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize