if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
