I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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