I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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