You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
