Ketchup is God's man juice
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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