if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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