god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
