Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize