i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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