Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
