Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
