Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
