U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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