He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
