No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She told me I should be a condom model.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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