just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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