I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I need help removing her.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
