This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
