he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
