we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
