hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Your tits are I can't wait for
In America we eat man semen.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize