Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
