Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
