ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
