i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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