I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize