my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
where are my eyebrows?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
