Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
