bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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