No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
