no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
