After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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