I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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