i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
