Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
