Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You were trust falling into bushes
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
