Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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