Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize