i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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