Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
