we're chasing vodka with high fives
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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