i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
