theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Randomize
