Someone shit on the floor
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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