is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
