Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
