the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
