Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
