I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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