so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
